Shake the dust off your feet.

This year has been a roller coaster of emotions. It has been a constant battle for my sanity and happiness. When things start looking greener the grey clouds and rain storms comes pouring down on my parade. It has been a lesson of humbling myself. Which is what I needed and I still need to do from time to time and I understand that reality checks are needed (the world does not revolve around me). However this week started out pretty rough and I was down in the dumps not wanting to come back to Kaleo but knowing full well that it was necessary. I prayed that God would change my heart so that I could return with a renewed spirit and a desire to be here growing with these people. That night I was anxious to come back not really excited but not wanting to stay at home. It was good returning to Qwanoes after a week of being away and I got excited when I saw my long lost friends Michelle and Anna. But I am now in the dumps again because they are gone and life is confusing and hard. Living in community is fun at times and it has all the potential to be enjoyable. But quite frankly it is easy to be forgotten about, to be the one that no one thinks of. This is me being selfish, this is me ranting. I was never a quiet person until this year. I loved being around people and having conversations with them, I never got awkward and always said what I had to say even if some one else had something better to say. So this is a good thing that I am no longer that person? I feel like all the fun has been sucked out of me, that I am now like the fun sucker, the person that sucks all the fun out of everything. I am quiet and if I don't know you I am awkward. I avoid people in stores or on the street that I walk down because I am not sure what to say to them or how they are judging me. Because other people I live with may want to say things louder than my voice can handle I decided this year to not be the one with the loud voice or the one who wants all the attention and strives to fit in and be the one every one is "involved" with. I sit alone in my room being sad and wanting to do something fun but having no fun in me to create an adventure, no fun in me to hang out with friends. And I know I am not the only one who feels this at the moment.

I live with many amazing people whom I love and love to be around. No one in this community should feel unloved because all 26 of us have so much love to give. This is Satan attacking us with lies and deceit and blaming others for all our problems, this is what happens when we let our guard down. The devil gets in and God is pushed aside. This is my problem, I can not place the blame on other people for not loving me enough or excluding me, this is when it is crucial to love even more and give abundance of grace. So many times this year I have wanted to give up and cut these people or circumstances from my life but we must hold on to hope. The hope that this community will change, we will love more, be gracious and patient towards one another and focus our eyes on God so that He may teach and rebuke us. Each flower grows at a different time and it is a slow process. I want to know how to change I want to know how to make a difference I want to know how to be genuine without people thinking I am fake.

This has been a year abundant in lessons from Papa and I am not finished learning yet. I have so much further to go, this is just the tip of the iceberg, this is just the beginning. I love the way that the Father works in our lives and uses the people around us, weather it be hard or easy, let us rejoice in what the Lord is doing in our lives because He is never done working His mighty magic.

" Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." -Philippians 2:1-4

Story

In Donald Miller's book "A million miles in a thousand years" he talks about his story and what he discovers makes a good story. I finished reading this book last week and it was good. I got half way through it and not expecting it to get better I thought to myself that I had to finish it so I can say that I read it. (That is usually the motive I have for reading most books) But half way through the book I found myself really enjoying the book. I really like sub-plots and this was filled with them that's why I liked it.

What makes a good story?
Sometimes it is a lot of action and a major conflict, it could also be the way the story is told. Every one has their own story, each story has the potential to be something excellent and good. However most people sit around and wait for something good and exciting to happen to make their story good. I happen to be one of those people who sit around and wait. After high school I was overwhelmed with options of going travelling on vacation, or living and working somewhere exotic, long term or short term missions, going to university, what classes to take in university, which one to go to? There are so many options after high school that me being an indecisive person has no idea what to do with any of them and end up doing nothing with all of them. So it is time to decide once again what to do with my life? What path will leave me with the best story? Which choice is the one I need most? I really don't know what to do but I know if I don't do anything I will continue to float around waiting for something to happen and if nothing ever happens. All I will end up accomplishing with my life is the act of getting old. So my plans for this year are subject to change but a plan is the start of something that could make a great story. I am hoping to upgrade a few courses from high school in the summer and in September go travelling to where ever my heart desires (if I can't get into any of the programs that start in September), when I am tiered of travelling in January I will go back to school to accomplish something. However, God might have other things planned for me so things could drastically change He does like to keep life full of surprises.

If you have any really cool suggestions for me to do next year please feel free to post them on here as a comment.

All the good things that come near

So these past couple weeks have been amazing, apart from me getting a cold worse than I have ever had before. I have been able to take the time to take a breath. I have come out of the clouds of winter and been able to see the hope and light that is a head. I am not sure if it is the vitamin B tablets I have been taking or that life has brightened up but my days are sunny even if the sun isn't shining. A couple weeks ago Taylor surprised me at church by telling me that we were invited to an elderly couples house for dinner this Friday evening coming up. I was thrilled but have never met this couple. The women ended up introducing herself to me last Sunday, as Audra and although she had invited me to her house she didn't even know my name. Her excuse was that she simply wanted to get to know Taylor and I better. Little does she know that this had been an answer to my prayers. This year has been a huge growing year for our church and I had been comfortable watching it grow from a distance and hanging out with the people I always hang out with. However, I love old people. I am intrigued by there stories and wisdom. When I came home from church I was procrastinating packing for our missions trip team building out trip to Victoria last week and went into my friend Sarah's room to discuss packing for the trip and I told her about my invite to Audra's house. I ended up confessing how much I want to get to know the congregation. There is so much that can be learned from each other and so many new faces to be introduced to. We both talked about how much we enjoyed the company of elderly people.
Two days later when we had gone to Victoria, Sarah and I were hanging out in Value Village because we had a couple hours to shop around until we headed back to Crofton. We sat down in the furniture section to rest but we also needed the time. When we looked over there was two elderly men involved in conversation sitting in the chairs close to us. One of them was wearing a watch. Sarah being led by the Spirit asked him for the time. Some how that small little question evolved into a conversation lasting forty five minutes with our new friend Sam. Sam was a world traveller and professor that taught at a bible university. He had many stories and much wisdom to offer Sarah and I. We prayed for him and he prayed for us and he introduced us to his wife Lillian. All three of us as we sat there chatting could not stop thanking God and praising him for this situation. Sam had been to India and had some stories of India to offer Sarah and I as we prepare for our trip and he gave us his mailing address and phone number so we could contact him after and tell him how it went. I could not help but say " You are so good and you love me so. Thank you Father!"
My cold is clearing up I am just battling the reminance of a runny nose and I am getting back to physical training but its hard to motivate yourself when you are on reading break and all you want to do is read and sleep. But victory came today as I motivated myself to get outside the door and ran to the track (which might sound impressive if you didn't know the track was literally just behind my house) I managed to run a whole big lap. I ran it all and then ran right back to my house. Lame I know but it was colder outside than I thought. I saw an icicle today, I think it might snow tonight it is so cold out. Tomorrow I will try harder and maybe dress warmer so I can run two laps.

THE END IS NEAR....

DUN DUN DUN...
We have concluded our class "Introduction of Theology" and I learnt a lot. I'm not sure really how to expand on that but quiet frankly I got really freaked out. I decided it would be a good idea to google "the rapture" and well the result I found was not the result I had expected. There were many websites that had come to the conclusion that the Great Tribulation will start THIS YEAR! Rosh Hashana (September 23rd) of 2011 to be exact. This made me shiver with fear and overcome by the desire to run away from this hole and start living my life. However it gave me great comfort to know that no one knows when this Great Tribulation will begin as much scientific evidence you find Jesus told us in Matthew 24:36 "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." Still there is the hope that I will die on earth before this happens, I feel that when our faith is tested I will fall away and forever perish.

This web site wasn't any help either.....
home.flash.net/~evt/rapture.htm

I decided that we still have time to enjoy life and live it to the fullest because the anti-Christ has not been made know and therefore Christ will not come.... yet. We still have at lest another year in my mind. Apparently people have been thinking that the end is coming since 1980. This is proof that no one knows what they are talking about.

On another note Kaleo is picking up pace and in four weeks all of us will be leaving to venture on the start of the missions trips! India team has just a month to prepare physically which is a little unsettling to see how unfit I am still and knowing that I have a long ways to go much further I need to reach my goal. I am not sure what my goal is physically but I know I am lacking in the muscle and cardio department. I ran for 10 minutes the other day and it felt like I was about to die. However, much prayer is going into this trip for us and the people we meet in India so I know God is faithful and he hears our prayers, we will not die.
Anyhoo... that is all I have for now, many blessings and much love!